Be human!

VIMALA TERMINAL CARE CENTER

After going to a school with children between the ages of four and fourteen, I was led to an orphanage by two kids of the same school, Sneha Kiran. At the orphanage, I again came across young kids and a few teenage girls. From here, I went to Vimala Terminal Care Center on behalf of Project ReachOut.

Assuming it to be an old age home look-alike, I went to Vimala, accompanied by a friend. Last year on Christmas, I remember seeing the place when I visited the Infant Jesus Church located in the same compound. I then realized a difference, a year ago I didn’t really bother giving it a second look, let alone going inside and finding out what the place is about. But then I put a brave foot forward and went in.

The first person I got to meet was a middle-aged lady, who asked us to ring the bell before going in. She then led us in and had us meet sister Graclyn. She told us about the place, told us about V. Rev. Father Varghese Payyapilly, who in 1927 founded a Congregation-Sisters of Destitute, the members of which take care of this place that was founded in 2000. She then told us that there were 33 inmates, 18 male and 15 female, with a mere five sisters managing the chores.

On a very keen note I asked her, “Are they all old?” And immediately, her reply came through, “It is a terminal care center, not an old age home…”

“Oh!” So what is the place about actually?

It is a place where people who are terminally ill are taken care of. Where people live knowing the end. Sadly. Where people carry the burden of fear and agony on their shoulder, each second of each day! And evidently, this work needs a lot of help. During my tenure I often wondered how just five sisters were managing such…such people who need constant care and support.

Imagine, these unfortunate people are terminally ill. And to add to their burden, their very families have abandoned them! They have toiled, all through their earlier days. Toiled to build a home, toiled to keep their kith and kin fed, toiled to give them what they need by sacrificing their own needs. This might sound a bit dramatic. But let me assure you, it isn’t. The people at Vimala Terminal Care Centre grievingly shared their painful experiences. They were just relieved to see my friend and me.

When you have been abandoned by…by your very own people, and when someone, no matter how insignificant, walks towards you and shake hands with you…only then will you know the depth of their pain!

Anyway, we then went inside the place and came across two twenty-six year olds and, thirty-one old people. After a brief meeting with all of them, I came across a very interesting person, a man from Kolkata who greeted us with a wide smile, both hands held high to wave to us, saying “Hii,” on the loudest possible tone. On knowing that I knew Hindi, he told us that from Kolkata to Mumbai to Kochi to Mysore, his lifelong travel had made him land up in a terminal care centre. We then took their leave, assuring them that we would meet them soon.

Day two started with the determination to help them as much as possible. Greeted by the same woman and the man from Kolkata, we rang the bell and went in. I then came across a group of ladies sitting and having a hearty conversation. I then gave it a thought, imagine a group of ladies sitting at home or at a park laughing around, discussing homely matters and what not. But why at a terminal care center? Anyway, another lady broke down telling about how her son left her there, implying that she wasn’t there on her own will. The inmates there, some blind, some deaf and mute, some simply dealing with common old age problems, and some were fine. But still, why were they in a terminal care center?

Coming to how the sisters are taking care of them. It is said and believed that only a mother can take care of the young and the old and that’s what they were doing. All of them are soft spoken, some retired school principals, one lady who has worked in Germany for 16 years and is here now to help these people. They do all that we do for ourselves as normal youngsters. And not only are the inmates taken care of, but they also keep the place clean. They are strict, but that’s the reason why the place is what it is today.

The sisters were repeatedly telling about this guy, a 26 year old. They insisted on interacting with him. Finally we met him. At 8 in the morning, he was all dressed up and was watching TV.  I also heard him having a long but interesting conversation with another fellow inmate. When we went to him, quick and crisp were his replies. After dropping out of school on completion of his 6^th grade, he opted to work as a construction worker. During the construction of an engineering college, he had a fall from the fourth floor, due to which he had a spinal cord injury which ended up in paralysis of both his legs. So now he is on a wheel chair watching TV, listening to music and reading the newspaper in open air. Both of us were wondering why an 18 year old opted to go to a terminal care centre and has been there for 8 long years though his family is here in Mysore. He felt that he would have been a burden to his family. Our first suggestion like any other was, Computer, “Learn computers, that might help”, but being not so literate, computers don’t pull in much interest in him.

Now after all this, what is actually happening in Vimala Terminal Care Centre?

The routine goes like this, after freshening up in the morning, they are done with breakfast by 8, after which by 11 everyone is given a bath, and one full round of cleaning is done. At 12:30 lunch is served, after which all of them have a nap. The last meal of the day is served by 5:30, after which any outing is restricted.

So a place like this requires volunteers who can selflessly work for these people, help them in every way possible, from feeding them to keeping them occupied, you need to do all that you do for others.

Go to Vimala not as volunteers, but as children and grandchildren, as brothers and sisters. People become like children as they grow old. They become gullible, naive and they see the world from a new perspective. They need the attention a child gets. They need constant support and unperturbed care. You need to be what they were to you. But at the end of the day, why should we have a terminal care center? When our parents put in 25-35 years of their lives bringing us up, is there a necessity to throw them out and keep them here? Abandon them? Aren’t people capable of taking care of their parents? Are they ashamed of showing them to the outer world? Well, remember, nothing can even marginally equal what they have done to us. Nothing can equate their love and affection.

Now, apart from calling out to volunteers, I ask you one simply favor – Be human!

-Tanavi Madappa.